Dear Pizza Hut: Trash the marketing team that decided a “Pizza is Bae” hoodie was a good idea. The kids are cancelling that basic term faster than you can say “on fleek.”
(If you’re over 20 and would like a translation of the above paragraph, click here).
The Hut Swag campaign smells like something a committee of middle-aged suits dreamed up in a boardroom while trying to tap the “youth market.” Preach.
Here are a few of the offerings, if you’re inclined to wear your stomach on your sleeve:
“Stay Cheesy” hat: $14.99
“Devoted to pizza’ t-shirt: $15.99
Pepperoni scarf: $29.99
“Dreaming of pizza” pillowcase: $39.99
Pizza-themed longboard: $179.99
Tribal Pizza Leggings: $49.99
Tight leggings and cheesy pizza aren’t a match made in heaven, but this ill-advised scheme isn’t the first time a large company has gone off track.
2. McDonald’s is also into the apparel game with its Big Mac Shop, which is now open in Canada. You can buy raincoats ($92 CAD), shorts ($59), thermal underwear ($79) and even a dog coat ($66) all made with the same diagonal hamburger design.
They also offer wallpaper for $63 per roll, sleeping bags, and a tent is a potential future item. Rain boots are “coming soon.” The website claims that any profits will go to Ronald McDonald House Charities.
3. American burger chain White Castle has a line of clothing with their logo that’s most inoffensive, but they offer onesies for babies who are too young for solid food, and the “custom” poly tie is an odd choice for suit wearing-professionals. And if you want to make sure everyone knows you’re vegetarian, get the Veggie Sliders t-shirt.
4. Don’t even bother making a resolution to eat healthier in 2016 if you pick up some gear at Dairy Queen. It’s impossible to eat a salad wearing a Sundae Funday t-shirt, but what we really can’t figure out is the Real Tree collection. If you’ve ever wanted a DQ t-shirt, hoodie and matching ball cap made in a Realtree extra camo pattern, this is your chance. Why you would want to is another question.
5. The In-N-Out Burger chain sells bikinis on its website, along with the usual collection of t-shirts, sweatshirts and other logo swag. Is it just me, or is wearing skimpy clothing less appealing after a Double-Double burger, fries and a shake (That’s 1,655 calories, if you’re counting).
6. Taco Bell has a large collection of clothing and accessories. Along with the usual apparel, they sell rings (“Taco” and “Bell” for different fingers), iPhone covers, temporary metallic tattoos and a taco-shaped foam hat.
7. The M&Ms t-shirts sold on the MMSworld.com website are brightly coloured like the candy, and are arguably cute in a kid-friendly way. But who needs a camisole and shorts set from a candy company?
The Ms. Brown Big Face Plush Backpack may not be the most useful thing you’ll ever own, either.
8. Urban Outfitters, an actual clothing company, nonetheless has had so many blunders that made the news, a cynic could be forgiven for wondering if it’s all part of a plan to generate free publicity.
The clothing chain’s most recent blunder was a big one. They offered a vintage-inspired Kent State sweatshirt covered with fake blood stains for $129 USD. Somehow, mass shootings just don’t seem like something worth making light of in leisurewear.